Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
