Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
