I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
