Christians are straight up FREAKS
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
organizing the empties. That sober.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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