now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
