We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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