Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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