Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
