just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
