Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
