I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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