I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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