I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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