Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
