Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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