when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
How naked do you want me to be?
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