Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
