MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
