yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
