we have pet lesbian snakes
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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