How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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