A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
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