I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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