How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
