This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
And then he peed in my hair
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