Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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