I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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