I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
