You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize