You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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