Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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