Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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