I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
