Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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