Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Randomize
