brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
