I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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