Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
