do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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