Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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