i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Randomize
