I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
