i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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