You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
