you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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