Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
