I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
