Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
