It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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