Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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