this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
