I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
