She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize