Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
