Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
