she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
