so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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