Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize