Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
