Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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