singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
