i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
