the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
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